It's going to take time...

I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I AM FRUSTRATED!
I worked out 4 times last week, only went over my calories once, yet I am still stuck at 167 (only 0.5lbs from my starting weight almost a month ago). How am I supposed to stay motivated if I don't see results?

I'm sure this is a question many people ask themselves as they go through this journey. Gaining weight and becoming a couch potato is easy. Losing weight and becoming fit...not so much. It takes work and when we work we want results. 0.5lbs in 3 weeks is just not a strong enough reinforcer.

So have I given up? Not yet.

While I am definitely discouraged, I keep telling myself that I am following the right prescription and I should see results soon. I am actually stepping up the routine. This week I plan on working out 6 times and I'm going to track my diet even closer. While I haven't lost weight, I have realized how much I enjoy being active and feeling strong.

I've also been lucky to find a friend to go through this with. She started her journey a few weeks before I did and despite the fact that she lives in Hawaii, while I live on the East Coast, we're connected through MyFitnessPal and provide each other with support. She's lost 6 pounds already and keeps telling me to hang in there, because it took her a while before she started shedding pounds. It's nice to hear encouragement and see where I could be in a few weeks.

I'm still frustrated that the scale hasn't budged, but I guess it makes sense. Muscle weighs more than fat or actually a pound of muscle takes up less volume than a pound of fat, so as you convert fat to muscle you may not be losing weight, but you are shaping up and hopefully losing volume. I tested this theory and while my weight has stayed steady I've actually lost 1/2 inch around my waist and 1/2 inch around my hips. Not bad!

I'm also aware that increasing muscle also means increasing my metabolism. Muscle burns more calories than fat. Basically, the more I workout the more effective my body will become at burning calories, which means more calories burned, less stored. So while the pounds may not be coming off just yet, hopefully the fat has been decreasing. It's also motivating to know that shaping up means that I'll be able to do more and doing more means burning more. I've definitely seen the results of that already. The ab exercises feel easier and as my running distance has increased, so has my speed. For example, on June 21 I ran 1.2 miles at a 12:35 min/mile pace and on July 21 I ran 2.0 miles at a 10:57 min/mile pace. Harder, better, faster, stronger! (I should add that song to my running playlist)

Small achievements, that's my new strategy. The scale may not be showing me what I want, but other things are. Losing inches, gaining strength, it's all part of the journey to fitness. Of course I also want to lose 20 pounds, but I think that is the difference between a diet and a lifestyle change: it's more than the pounds and it's going to take time.

Know yourself, set realistic goals

I'm almost 20 days into this journey and despite reporting more weight loss last week, my grand total for these past 3 weeks is 1.5 lbs. Not bad, but I definitely expected more and it's easy to see how someone could get discouraged. I kept stepping on the scale this morning just to make sure it really said 166. The scale really can be a dangerous place and I have to keep reminding myself that real change will take time.

I also have to admit the limited loss is probably because I haven't been giving it 110%. Not because I don't want to, but because I want this to be a lifestyle change and if I treat it like a diet or quick fix, I'm scared any weight lost will just come right back. I've actually seen a lot of websites, pins and posts online of people who lost all of their weight in 2 months, 4 months or even 6 months and now look like different people. These people are inspirational. I want to be one of those people, but I do not really want to cut out alcohol and carbohydrates from my diet permanently. I'm okay cutting out junk food, (over)processed foods and limiting my empty calories (those foods that often are high in calorie, but don't contribute any sort of nutrition to your body), but I also want to be realistic.

Last night for example we had grilled fish, zucchini and I made my husband mashed potatoes. I had set my mind to not eating any of the mashed potatoes, but they just looked so good. Had I been on a no-carb diet, I would be beating myself up for eating 1/2 cup of mashed potatoes. Instead, I just looked at my calories and determined that it was something I could afford. I realize without those I might lose weight quicker, but without those I'm on a diet and this is a lifestyle change and there is a big difference.

I also had some hard cider last night (which was pre-planned because I knew we'd be socializing). Most of these blogs would tell me that I should've stuck to water and avoided drinking my calories, but the idea of restricting myself that much just makes me want to eat more. Whatever lifestyle I proceed with, I have to be able to eat/drink the occasional hard cider, glass of wine, half cup of ice cream or delicious cupcake. Maybe I won't lose weight as quickly, but it is what is going to work for me as a lifestyle. I don't want to feel like I've failed every time I eat one of those items and I don't want to deny my cravings and end up caving in and binging. I know myself....it will happen.

Ok, time to hit the gym. At first I didn't want to join a gym, because we move in three weeks and I'm traveling all next week (which will be another struggle to deal with), so I really only have 2 1/2 weeks left in New Haven, but I realized that was just an excuse. So here I am off to the gym, on my bicycle, ready to burn some calories!

Listen to your body, but don't use excuses

In the commotion of these past few days, I forgot to mention that I fell off my bike on Monday. I was looking back so I could merge with traffic, while my husband, who was ahead of me slowed down, and before I knew it we were having a Tour de France collision moment (did anyone see those on TV last night?) Luckily we were going very slow and only I fell off the bike. Even luckier was that the EMS truck was across the street from us when it happened and responded in less than 5 seconds. What are the chances?

I'm happy to report that the injuries were nothing major. Just some scrapes, a few bruises and 2 nasty cuts caused by my peddles. I hate those stupid pedals! I'm always hurting myself on them and am definitely getting new pedals and one of those helmet rearview mirrors. Safety first!

The one downer is the the bruise on my right thigh and the one on my left knee have limited my ability to run.

I tried it briefly on Tuesday and again on Wednesday and the pounding of my feet on the pavement sent shooting pains towards the various injuries. I'm bummed, but I know better than to ignore my body. I'm all for pushing through muscle soreness, but real injuries need time to heal. It is after all about being healthy!

I am however also aware of how easy it is to use excuses and find reasons to not work out. Despite riding my bike a few times, the scale has not been my friend this week and I have been tempted to slouch on the couch with a box of cookies. Ugh, stupid mind, stay focused! I keep telling myself muscle weighs more than fat and it's going to take time before I see real results. I just have to keep pushing!

Today, I'm going to try a 20 min run. The injuries are healing nicely and it should be doable. If I do feel pain (my left knee hurts when I stand for too long), I won't run, but I'm also not going to skip a day. That would be too tempting! I'll just do something else, like a bike ride. Yesterday was a rest day, today I need cardio, no excuses!

Enjoy every second

Today a childhood friend of mine passed away. She was 31 years old, happy and about to become a mother (both she and the baby passed). I had not been in touch with her much in recent years, but just yesterday she posted a birthday message on my Facebook and I was thinking about writing her back to ask her how her pregnancy was going. Her most recent updates had all been so happy and positive. She seemed to be having the time of her life and it seems unreal and definitely unfair that her life has been cut so short. 

The sadness of the news did not immediately hit me. At first I was just in shock that life could just be over in a flash. Then as I got back on my bike, it hit me and I spent some time crying as I rode. After a while I started reflecting on life and how we take it for granted sometimes. My cousin, who I love dearly for example, did not have the wake-up call I expected, because just a few days ago she had someone bring her a Burger King burger while in the hospital. Needless to say my mother was furious, but I was mostly sad. Sad that someone who has been given a chance to change her life and maximize the time she has on this earth, is not taking the steps needed to change. I don't expect her to never eat burgers again. That would go against my vision of making being healthy a lifestyle, not a temporary diet. It would also be hypocritical, because just last night I had a burger for dinner myself. The difference is that I rode my bicycle for 90 minutes and knew that my calories would allow it...she on the other hand is in the hospital...

An unexpected fall down the stairs can end your life, why do anything to yourself that will increase your chances of living a short life? You're only given one chance, so you make the best of it. Enjoy every second of your life and never your life for granted. 

Daily Summary:

Cardio: 90 min bicycling

Strength: none

Calories: 2100 (slightly over what it should've been)

Staying motivated

I turned 30 today. 3-0. Back in my teens I used to think 30 was so old. Now I realize it's just the beginning. I had a 20s full of adventures and I don't plan to slow down in my 30s, the adventures are just going to be a little different...

Honestly I don't really have many goals for my 30s. I've been pretty happy with my life so far. Great family, great friends, married a wonderful man, own my own small business and have had the luck to travel all over the world...I guess if I had to set goals, maybe I'd aim to own a house. Have some kids. Continue to travel the world. Take more time to enjoy life and of course become healthier. That is actually the one thing I want to achieve while I'm 30: health and fitness.

This weekend though I've been a bit derailed and I realized how easy it is to lose motivation and attempt to throw in the towel. Despite having the best intentions to keep working out and eating healthy this entire weekend, my birthday has caused a change in plans. I had been working out at night, but this weekend my routine has been interrupted by cookouts, camping and tonight a nice dinner out. My diet has included more cake and alcohol than I would normally consume and while I know I can workout in the morning, I have been enjoying sleeping in and being lazy.

Not a bad thing to do your birthday weekend, except in my case I didn't log any of my meals (I know I'm over and I'd rather not see it), but then I did make a trip to the scale, which of course was absolutely depressing, so I felt guilty, which led to anger and then self-pitty, which I know will eventually lead to me wanting to give up.

As I watched myself go through the routine I realized that all I was doing was breaking myself down and taking the easy way out and this time I wasn't going to let my brain win!

Us humans are so hardwired for short-term success, for easy and immediate results, but the truth is, this is a journey, a lifestyle, a long-term commitment and I cannot let some short-term failures get in the way. I'm going to drink every now and then, I'm going to cheat and eat unhealthy occasionally and I'm going to skip a workout day here and there. These things are insignificant in the larger picture. They are not failures, they are part of life and as long as they are the exceptions I will reach my goal.

Stay focused on the final goal. This is what I have been chanting to myself on my runs and during my killer abs routine or when I'm really craving to binge eat. Now I realize this is also what I need to chant to myself on off-days. As Einstein said, "you never fail until you stop trying" and this time I don't plan on failing, I don't plan on giving up!

Being Healthy

I started my journey to a fitter life last week and I have to admit it has been challenging and at times quite frustrating.

As someone who at one point could run for 2 hours and bike for almost a full day, it's strange to be tired after a 15 minute run. Even stranger was the intense muscle soreness I experienced after my first day doing the 300/30 ab challenge. I have never felt so much pain in my abs and hip flexors! Pain that almost pushed me back to my sedentary lifestyle. But that's not the solution and the pain actually made me realize that my body was showing me how out of shape it had really gotten and how important it was that I was finally taking these steps...

I've also got another source of motivation. Not only has my own health declined as my weight increased, but recently my cousin, a fairly obese 23-year-old, started suffering from seizures. The doctors have ruled out epilepsy, but still haven't pinpointed the cause. Of course I have no idea if her seizures are linked to her weight or unhealthy eating habits, but this isn't the first time she has gotten sick and the fact of the matter is: a person, who eats healthy and exercises, significantly reduces their risk of illness.

That to me is the key. It is not about dieting to look skinny. It's not about dieting, period. It's about making a lifestyle change so that I can be fit and healthy for as long as possible. I want children some day soon and when I have those children I want to not only teach them how to lead healthy lives, but I want to be healthy with them.

So here we are. Day 2 of the blog, but officially day 11 of my journey.

Cardio: 18 min run (I increased my time and decreased my miles/min today!)
Strength: 300 ab challenge with only some minor modifications
Calories: 1700
Weight: 164 lbs (Starting weight 11 days ago: 167.5 lbs)

Pretty good day, if I say so myself!

Starting Over

Pensamentunan (the original url of this blog) means thoughts and I guess when I first chose this blog name that was my intention; share my thoughts with the world. Like anyone wants to listen to my thoughts?! Well, just in case you're interested, my thoughts these days are focused on my weight. Actually less on my weight and more on my lack of fitness and general health.

It wasn't always this way. I was a dancer for 18 years of my life, then moved on to running, biking and some swimming. I've completed a sprint triathlon, 3 half marathons, a full marathon and a 5-day 200-mile bike ride. Needless to say I was pretty fit. Never super skinny, but always fit. Now, not so much. My weight has steadily increased these past 2-3 years and now, for the first time, I have this tummy that I am constantly, often unsuccessfully, trying to hide.

I recently read a blog about a woman who talks about her weight loss journey and how it started. She says that one day it just hit her and she knew it was time to change for good. I know exactly how she feels, because just last week the same feeling hit me.

Maybe it's the fact that I turn 30 in 3 days or maybe it's the fact that I no longer look good in any of my clothes or the fact that I hate getting my picture taken or maybe it's the fact that I see what being overweight and sedentary can do to you...I don't want that, not anymore. I also really just miss being active. Running, biking, dancing, I love it all. I also love to eat & drink and the truth is, in order to eat and drink all the yummy things the world has to offer you have to workout. You have to create a calorie balance of what goes in and what gets burned off. Calorie excess causes you to gain wait, calorie deficit (in healthy amounts) causes weight loss. So that's what I'm doing.

I'm not obese, but I'm definitely at least 25 pounds overweight and I want at least 20 of those pounds to come off! (I've taken pictures, but honestly I am not quite ready to share them with you). I realize, because this is not a diet, but a lifestyle change, it may take me a while to lose all the weight.

So here's my plan:

Cardio: 3X per week, starting with 20-30 minutes and building up to 30-45min. I plan to start with running and building it up slowly (last week I ran 3X, although only for 15 minutes since it had been over a year since my last run). Once the running is up to a solid 30-45 minutes, I'd like to up my routine to 4X per week and add biking and maybe some swimming to my routine.

Strength: I'm not too worried about this for now, although strength training has been known to be the secret to losing weight. I definitely want to work on that tummy of mine ASAP, so three days ago I started the 300 in 30 ab challenge which I want to try to complete at least 5 days per week. Intermix that with some lunge/squat/leg raise routines and I should be set to get my biggest problem areas back in too shape.

Food: Thanks to the MyFitnessPal app, I know that my calorie intake on non-workout days should be 1200-1400 calories, so that'll be my base. On workout days I'll increase to 1600-2000 depending on how much I do. Like I said I love to eat, so I'm not going to place too many limits, although I'll definitely be watching my fat and sugar intake.

That's it! That's the plan. I'm intrigued by CrossFit (doesn't everyone doing it just look so fit?), so I may try that out after I complete the 300/30 challenge. I also want to run another half and do another sprint triathlon, so I may have to add official training schedules once I've signed up for those, but I think in general this will be a good base for improving my fitness.

Any suggestions are definitely welcome! And if you're ready to get fit, join me! We can become MyFitnessPal friends and motivate each other!

*Note: The images were found on Pinterest. If you know the original source, let me know, so I can cite them.